Lost Another One
I woke up this morning to a very disturbing message on instant messenger. When I opened it, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I replied that I hope this wasn’t real. I was hoping that it was a dirty joke. I got a response that it was real. No matter how long I work in this field, a loss never gets easier to swallow. He always had a special spot in my heart. I’m dedicating this blog to his life. I know he had some issues and many inner demons but he was a great guy. He never marched to anyone else’s drum. He would give anyone anything he had if it was possible. I learned a lot from him and he will always be apart of my program. I’m tired of losing people to this disease.
I learned one of the most important rules in this field. To never take ownership of no one else’s recovery. Whether someone lives or dies, succeeds or fail, it is not my doing. A good friend of mine, Mr. Crider taught me if I am responsible for the success of a client then I have to accept the failures. So I picked to not take anything. I just teach and teach and teach like my life depended on it because I know that someone’s life does.
So many times, I am approached by someone that says, “ you changed my life, I owe you everything, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you”. My response is the same every time, “I didn’t do anything but watch you change your own life around and I was glad to get front row seats”. These clients aren’t my clients and I will never say “my clients” because they aren’t MINE. That’s a codependent statement. I won’t go there right now that’s for another post.
We as therapist give our life to this, well the good ones. Every loss reminds you that every time you walk into a group room or sit in an individual session, it is life or death. I know for me, I give it my all, and the clients can feel my passion. I never tell them to stop drinking or getting high because if that would work it would’ve worked when their loved ones would have said it. My job is to sale recovery and they eventually will buy into the process but it is their choice. Some choose to live by the suggestion and some don’t. It just kills me to see someone die before they can totally change. Life isn’t promised, tomorrow doesn’t always come, and the dice will land on snake eyes eventually.
So I pray that all of the people that have lost their life to this disease will finally find rest in God. I pray that God will hug them and they finally feel the peace they were searching for so long. There will be a day that we will all know every answer to all the hidden mysteries but until then I will pray that God uses me in restoring health to every man or woman that I meet struggling with addictions. Even Legion knew he was in the presence of the Lord.
To my man,
Rest in peace, with all respect, we will play spades and dominoes when I get there. Save me a spot at the table. Love you.