A Nugget of Love
Somebody asked me the other day, why do future clients call, say they are coming in, and never come. I just laughed and she couldn't understand why. I replied, "welcome to the world of Addiction".
There are three major components to actively be in recovery. In my ten years of working with addicts, I have found that these three concepts are found in every recovery. The three components are READY to change, WILLING to accept, and OPEN to suggestions. If one of these is missing, an addict always finds a reason to relapse.
I had a client several years ago when I was an outpatient IOP counselor that would hold the group hostage every Monday. She would say that she relapsed this weekend and the group would encourage her that relapse was part of recovery. After the third Monday, I said, "we are not going to spend every Monday talking about your relapse for forty minutes. You are not relapsing every weekend, just admit that you like to get high on the weekend." She didn't like the statement but I didn't back down. I know it wasn't a motivational interviewing statement but it was the truth. She seemed willing and open but just not completely ready.
READY-
1. a :prepared mentally or physically for some experience or action
b :prepared for immediate use dinner is ready
2 a :willingly disposed :inclined ready to agree to his proposal
b :likely to do something indicated a house that looks ready to collapse
WILLING-
1 :inclined or favorably disposed in mind :ready willing and eager to help
2 :prompt to act or respond lending a willing hand
3 :done, borne, or accepted by choice or without reluctance a willing sacrifice
4 :of or relating to the will or power of choosing
OPEN
1 :having no enclosing or confining barrier :accessible on all or nearly all sides cattle grazing on an open range
2 a (1) :being in a position or adjustment to permit passage :not shut or locked an open door (2) :having a barrier (such as a door) so adjusted as to allow passage the house was open
b :having the lips parted stood there with his mouth wide open
c :not buttoned or zipped an open shirt
You can be open and ready but not willing to listen to advice or take suggestions. Recovery is difficult.
You can be willing and ready but not open to a new way of living or to change. Recovery is unlikely.
You can be willing and open but not ready to make the necessary changes or to stop the behaviors. You will not find recovery.
If you are struggling or know someone that is struggling with finding recovery, please share this. You need all three, if you are missing one you will not find a true and sustainable recovery.